A formula is a way to arrange a conversation. It cannot supply the offer, the evidence, or the reason someone should care. Start with those facts; choose the sequence afterward.
We will use one constructed example throughout this guide: a 60-minute proposal review for freelance web designers. The buyer brings a draft proposal and receives an annotated version plus a short list of revisions. This is a teaching example, not an existing service or a customer result.
Write the facts before choosing a formula
- Reader: a freelance web designer with a proposal to send.
- Immediate problem: the proposal lists tasks but does not explain scope, decisions, or the next step clearly.
- Offer: a 60-minute review of that proposal.
- Deliverable: an annotated draft and prioritized revision list.
- Evidence: none supplied in this example. Do not invent testimonials, results, or credentials.
- Action: review the session details and book if the scope fits.
The plain version is already useful: “Bring your draft proposal to a 60-minute review. Leave with annotations and a short list of changes to make before you send it.” The formula should clarify that sentence, not bury it.
AIDA: when the reader needs the whole story
Attention: “Is your proposal clear to someone who did not sit through the discovery call?” Interest: “A review looks at the scope, the decisions the client needs to make, and the next step.” Desire: “You leave with annotations and a prioritized revision list.” Action: “Review the session details and book a time.”
AIDA gives a longer page a useful order. It becomes tedious when each step repeats the same vague promise. If the reader is already comparing review services, open with the deliverable and scope instead of a dramatic attention grabber.
PAS: when the problem is already familiar
Problem: “Your proposal describes the work, but the scope is hard to find.” Consequence: “That can lead to another round of questions before the client can decide.” Solution: “In a 60-minute review, we mark the unclear sections and make a revision list.”
The middle step is where copy often becomes dishonest. Describe a plausible consequence; do not tell the reader their business is failing because of one draft.
Before–After–Bridge: when the deliverable is easy to picture
Before: a proposal with a long task list and an unclear scope. After: an annotated draft with a concise revision list. Bridge: a review that checks the promise, scope, exclusions, decision points, and next step.
Keep “after” within the offer’s control. A clearer proposal is a reasonable aim. A signed client contract is not a result this review can promise.
Feature–Advantage–Benefit: when the draft reads like a specification
Feature: an annotated proposal. Advantage: comments appear next to the lines that need attention. Benefit: the designer can revise the draft without trying to remember a verbal critique. Follow the same chain for the prioritized list and the session recording only if a recording is actually included.
Problem–Promise–Proof–Proposal: when trust is the main obstacle
Name the unclear proposal, promise the specific review and deliverables, then show real evidence. That might be an anonymized before-and-after excerpt used with permission, an accurate description of the reviewer’s experience, or a sample annotation. If no proof is available, omit the proof claim and show the review process instead. Finish with the scope, price, and booking step.
Question–Answer–Action: when the reader wants a direct answer
“What will I get from a proposal review?” Answer: “A 60-minute walkthrough, an annotated draft, and a short list of revisions.” Action: “See what the session covers.” This short structure works well above a detailed FAQ or beside a booking button.
Pick one primary structure
- If readers need context, start with AIDA.
- If they already recognize the problem, try PAS.
- If the deliverable is visible, try Before–After–Bridge.
- If the draft is a feature list, translate it with Feature–Advantage–Benefit.
- If trust is the barrier, show the process and genuine proof.
- If the page is short, answer the reader’s question directly.
You can borrow a sentence from another formula. You do not need to force all six into one page. Next, follow the worked proposal-copy example from rough notes to a usable opening, or use the headline worksheet with your own offer. The printable brief kit keeps the facts, drafts, and evidence check together.